One of my friends recently sent me a link to the oh so lovely NY Times article, "Blue is the New Black" by Maureen Dowd. In the article, Dowd asserts that the reason women are less happy now then about 30 years ago is because new gender-equality has presented women with an over-abundance of choices: marriage, work, family, kids, travel, etc., etc. Of course, I don't think this is the case at all. In fact, I think that Dowd and everyone in accordance with her are quite out of their minds and underestimating women [Of course choices can be stressful (duh)! But everyone has to make them, and having to make decisions does not yield long-term "less-than-happiness"].
My gut reaction in response to Dowd's assertions was that women are in this general "funk" of less-than-happiness , not because they can't handle the stress of choice, but rather because they have yet to truly embrace themselves, that is, they have yet to truly love being women [yes, one of my favorite themes].
But after some thought and personal reflection, I don't think my gut-reaction was right.
See, I have found myself in a "funk" lately, as well, and I think that my "funk" of less-than-happiness parallels what many women may be feeling now. I have always been one to look for what comes next, whether it be colleges, work, internships, or any other kind of opportunity. I thrive on the potential for something else, something new. But what happens when there isn't anything next? What happens when things are working out and the next is already kind of figured out? Or, worse, what if there is no obvious "next"?
I am currently settled in at school, buckled down for another approximately 2 years of undergrad. There's nothing "next" other than grad school, which is pretty much a given, and (hopefully) a family. Now I'm creating the next, the next is waiting for me to take it...I'm no longer waiting for the next to happen. Now the next is up to me; there's no set plan [hopefully this is making some kind of sense outside of my head].
Like me, women are unsure of what comes next....there's no clear plan for what to aim for, since it seems that we now have that for which we were waiting. See, prior to all of the workplace and societal advancements towards greater gender-equality, women were always waiting for their "next"--the realization of rights that they knew they deserved, so there was some kind of intrinsic excitement and purpose among the female population. Now that this "next" has generally come, women are faced with a lull, a time of not waiting for any kind of "next," a time of awkward uncertainty and lack of intrinsic purpose.
This is not to say that advancements still need not be made in favor of women, but it is to say that things have undeniably come a long way in favor of women.
Thus, as far as I can tell, this lack of happiness that Dowd notes among the female population, is a lack of a new "frontier" for women rather than an overwhelmed stress. So, perhaps women need to pick up a new next; perhaps, in order to be happy and feel purpose-driven once again, women need to take a look at themselves and learn how to truly love themselves for all that they are. Perhaps women need to take a closer look at what it means to be a woman; they need to look at the graces bestowed upon them. They need to learn how to embrace their newly found rights and not lose their intrinsic femininity.
Ladies just need to learn to be genuinely content with where they are.
That's what I'm trying to do. And I think that's a pretty good next.
