Feminism, Fallibility, and Flourishing

Just recently, I have started to delve in to modern feminist literature [Judith Butler, Anne Fausto-Sterling, Foucault, etc.]. All of this reading is brand new to me---never before have I read such articulate academic accounts of feminism and suggestions for how to advance feminism given certain problems and limitations that the ideology faces today. I'm not going to get into the details of these arguments, but if you're at all interested in learning more I strongly encourage you to pick up and read Fausto-Sterling's Sexing the Body. Even if you don't agree with everything argued, the history and science alone are fascinating and informative [plus, it's especially important to consider views that counter your own so that you can be a well-rounded person]. 

I definitely fall into the category of not agreeing with everything proclaimed in these modern works, yet I find the books to be very stimulating and encouraging of fruitful reflection. One of the most intriguing suggestions I've encountered so far was the argument is that masculinity is defined for the most part without reference to the physical nature of maleness whereas femininity is historically defined [at least in part, if not totally] by the woman's physicality, especially the capability of being a mother [see: Gender Trouble]. Before reading Butler, I'd never thought about the construct of maleness and femaleness in a comparative fashion...I mean, it's always made sense to me that part of being a woman is motherhood, but I'd never before considered what the comparison was with men or even whether there was a common, cultural comparison to men or not.

Thoughts on Rudeness

It's not a slam at you when people are rude, it's a slam at the people they've met before. 

-Tennessee Williams

I have recently relocated to the beautiful capital city of Madison, Wisconsin. It has everything you could possibly want: cheese, fresh produce, beautiful lakes, awesome bike trails, tons of little shops, and microwbrews aplenty [if beer happens to be your "thing"].  Having grown up in family deeply rooted in the Midwest, I had high hopes that the Sconnies [a term I recently picked up on] who I encountered would be relatively polite and friendly, at least generally more polite and pleasant than strangers I met in DC. I was looking forward to being around a more easy-going and generally happier population of people.

Boy, was I surprised when people rudely shouted lewd and unintelligible comments at me from their car windows [this has now happened twice in less than a week].

Ramblings on simpler things

This summer, I have had a long-overdue break from the hassles of academia, the lovely 20-somethings who woke me up at all hours in Georgetown, and the endless concerns about "what comes next." While this respite could prove quite dull for some, I've found myself filling up my days with worthwhile ventures.

For example, every day, I have been completing the New York Times crossword puzzle [something that I've never done before]. Of course, I am terrible at crosswords and consistently rely on my mother and father for help, but it is nevertheless a most rewarding quotidian venture. I have also been hunting around  vintage furniture shops and secondhand stores around St. Louis for furniture for my apartment. It's quite a thrill to find a 1950's kitchen table in mint condition [yes, it's perfect!]. It's even fun to find a bookshelf [for $10!!!] that is transformed to "better than new" after a fresh coat of paint.

Surprisingly, I've found the task of finding and fixing up furniture to be the most rewarding task of them all [believe me, I was not eager to fix furniture up when my mother first suggested it would be a "fun" task].

New Look, Same Thoughts

For months now, I've been debating how to get my blog to feel/look how I want it to...I have finally settled on this new layout [and the new address...abcsoffemininity.blogspot.com]. I think it improves readability and will make it easier for readers to browse and interact with the site. You may notice the new tabs under the blog title ["Random Thoughts," "Fashion," "Manners," etc.]. These tabs will be update weekly with new & quick tips, links to articles, or entertaining thoughts pertaining to their denoted contents---the goal is to develop a list in each page that will be a quick and helpful reference on important topics pertaining to femininity [especially random thoughts]. The "Home" page will remain the place of all blog posts; pages under tabs will be used for  shorter length thoughts and ideas.

I am also playing with the idea of having guests blog occasionally...Let me know if you're interested in sharing your thoughts!

Finally, be on the lookout for a new blog post in the next few days...I hope you enjoy the new look : - )

Happy 100th Birthday, International Women's Day!

As I browsed the news for feminist-inspired stories, I came across several editorials where the authors reflected on precisely how they came about to realize and embrace their feminist identities. Many women reflected on how they have had to defend their feminist status in light of their religious affiliations; others reflected on how they understand the modern idea of a feminist to greatly stray from the meaning of "feminist" at the liberation movement's inception. While I could ramble about my own feminist struggles, I feel like this blog does most of that for me. So, in honor of the 100th Anniversary of International Women's Day (March 8), I am simply going to share the details of another woman whose life journey I find to bee oozing with feminism, femininity, and faith (three parts of my own life that I find to be inseparable and integral to my personality and perspective). Understanding the struggles and lives of preceding women can be a source of strength and knowledge for ladies today trying to sort out their ideals and determining what to do next.

Edith Stein's life and works are truly inspirational and thought-provoking, and I believe she can serve as a source of strength to all young ladies today.

In defense of Willow

Whether her hair is too wild or her makeup too mature, it seems most people have some kind of beef with the 9-year-old sensation and daughter of beautiful people [Will and Jada], Willow Smith. With her late-2010 debut of "Whip my Hair," Willow went to the top of the charts, becoming one of the most-played artists at clubs and on the radio. [If you've been living under a rock, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, so check out her first music video here.]

Many have raised concerns about her age, saying that her parents let her enter show business at too early an age. Others have raised concerns about her age-inappropriate makeup and hairstyles. All of these concerns are somewhat understandable, but I generally don't get why people are hating on such a cute girl [after all, she's really not very different from your "average" girl playing dress up and wearing her mom's makeup]. If you watch the video for "Whip my Hair," you realize several things: One, Willow wears very appropriate clothing for her age; Two, she has an absolute blast performing; Three, she's actually pretty talented [at dancing and singing]; Four, there is nothing at all inappropriate about the song or the performance [come on...there's a BABY dancing in it].

So, what's the deal with people hating on the glamorously cute Willow? I think, for the most part, people are envious of Willow Smith's general life situation--her parents are blessed and connected enough to let their 9-year-old [adorable] daughter do fun things, like dress up, sing, wear fun makeup and make a hit song. I can't really think of any 9-year-old girl who wouldn't want to make a hit song.

Personally, I find Willow to be a glimmer of hope in the world of Hollywood. She's a girl with actual talent who [for now, at least] dresses and performs appropriately for her age. In a sense, she's the realization of every little girl's dreams of stardom. She's a fascinating girl who loves, loves, loves being a girl, as obviated by her fun dress-up like wardrobe, fantastical hair, and theatrical stage makeup.

So, what's wrong with loving being a girl? Nothing. In fact, I wish more girls [and women in general, for that matter] loved their femininity as much as Willow is right now. Perhaps Willow Smith can teach us all something about embracing who we are. Maybe we all just need to take a chill pill, start enjoying who we are, and joyously whip our hair.

Ode to hats

Ever since I was a little girl, whenever my mother would take me into a department store, my focus for the entire shopping trip would be to get to the hat section and try on as many fashion hats as humanly possible. My mom would always chuckle and tell me that I had a good face for donning such hats [hats with feathers, hats with bows, hats with 12 inch brims], but then would tell me to set them aside as we moved on to more important things.

The golden age of fashion hats seems to have come to an end. Even if I owned a hat, I'm afraid my sentiment would be that of Erma Bombeck, who once said, "I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it." You just don't see young ladies wearing hats anymore...and I don't really understand why.

Firstly, hats are most practical in the summer time [especially for pale people like me] and when it's colder out [they keep your head warm]. Secondly, hats draw attention to your face and indubitably make whatever you say seem much more important than if you weren't wearing a hat. Thirdly, young men still wear classy fashion hats, so young ladies should, as well [harumph!]. Fourthly, you can wear fashion hats pretty much anywhere [Emily Post says so].

With all of these reasons in mind, I have decided that if/when I go to graduate school, I will expand my accessory collection to include hats...fancy hats. I will wear hats with bows, hats with feathers, hats covered in lace, and hats with ginormous brims. I will wear hats that, today, scream "lady going to hear a Baptist sermon on Sunday," all for the sake of classic femininity and fulfilling my childhood dream.

Who knows? Maybe other ladies will follow suit; after all, with all of the above reasons in mind [especially the visual importance gained from such hats], I cannot imagine ladies not wanting to do so.

I know one thing, though---I absolutely cannot wait to walk into Nordstrom and finally buy a hat.

Tasting Stars

"Come quickly, I am tasting stars!"
Dom Pérignon at the moment of his discovery of champagne

Ever since I turned 21, I have received numerous requests from friends to write an entry about "how to drink like a lady." Being the stubborn woman that I am, though, I felt that such a post was silly or not worth my time...well, my stubbornness has subsided [for the time being].

For me, being a true lady entails not only behaving a certain way but also having knowledge about various things, both cultural and academic [there is nothing less appealing than a woman who has nothing to say and no opinion on a matter]. So, when I turned 21, I set out to attain vast knowledge about the world of spirits. I do not claim to be a connoisseur of drinking, but I have certainly taken it upon myself to learn a fair deal about how to order a drink [or two].

Please note that my advice is solely with respect to spirits--I do not provide any advice about beer [not a very feminine drink if you ask me] or wine, which is always a classy option, and I think that every lady [and gentleman] should have basic knowledge of wine, whether she drinks it or not.

My first piece of advice advice for ladies who want to enter in the world of drinking [or just learn about it...you don't have to drink spirits to know about them] is to not be afraid to talk to a bartender or mixologist [mixologists are, by far, preferred for the learning process---they have special training and tend to know about pre-prohibition drinks (very classy). If you wanted to learn about teeth, you'd talk to someone who works with teeth; so, if you want to learn about spirits, you'd talk to someone who works with spirits]. The thing is, though, that you have to be exceptionally careful about from whom you ask advice. You do not want to learn about the world of fine beverages from your local sports bar [no!]; you want to venture to a nicer bar, renowned for its style and variety of fine brands. Go with some friends and simply talk to the tender...ask questions. My favorite question to ask is, "What is that funny shaped bottle of?" [not only do I learn when I ask this, but I also get a free sample 9/10 times].

My second piece of advice to ladies is, after attaining a general knowledge about finer beverages, to pick one or two spirits and learn a lot about them. This means you must do two things: First, you must visit places that specialize in whatever your spirit choices are; Second, you must read about the spirits online to acquire knowledge about mixed beverages and brand tastes/reputations. Even if you do not drink, this knowledge can help in making recommendations and simply in showing your cultural knowledge [very impressive].

For example, a lady who chooses to learn about gin will learn about the different brands of gin, what makes each brand have a distinct taste, and various mixed drinks that have gin in them. Furthermore, she will know what drink to recommend when [a gin gimlet might be best consumed in a cocktail setting whereas a gin & tonic might be consumed with food]. Finally, I find it far more appealing for a lady to enjoy simple drinks with 4 or less ingredients [no Long Islands...sorry].

On a similar note, once you find a drink you like, stick to it---make it your "signature." There is something to be said for a lady who knows what she likes and is reliable in her tastes. So, if you really like ordering sparkling water with cranberry juice, order it regularly! Also, do not "lower" your standards of quality or brand to save money...if you have good taste, do not accept anything but the best, for the best is precisely what you deserve. It is far better to have only one very nice beverage than several disgusting drinks.

My final advice to ladies who do elect to drink spirits is to learn their limits. There is nothing more unattractive than a lady who chooses to repeatedly make a fool of herself in public [case in point: Snooki]. Everyone makes mistakes [that is part of being human and a part of the learning process], but you must be sure to learn from them.

Once the above knowledge is attained, any lady should feel most comfortable in a setting where spirits are consumed, whether she drinks or not [she will, most likely, floor her companions with her impressive knowledge...and put her male friends in their proper places]. It is a social knowledge area in which I feel all ladies should be somewhat competent.

Hopefully these general suggestions will quell my friends' requests for a discussion on spirits.