Ode to hats

Ever since I was a little girl, whenever my mother would take me into a department store, my focus for the entire shopping trip would be to get to the hat section and try on as many fashion hats as humanly possible. My mom would always chuckle and tell me that I had a good face for donning such hats [hats with feathers, hats with bows, hats with 12 inch brims], but then would tell me to set them aside as we moved on to more important things.

The golden age of fashion hats seems to have come to an end. Even if I owned a hat, I'm afraid my sentiment would be that of Erma Bombeck, who once said, "I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it." You just don't see young ladies wearing hats anymore...and I don't really understand why.

Firstly, hats are most practical in the summer time [especially for pale people like me] and when it's colder out [they keep your head warm]. Secondly, hats draw attention to your face and indubitably make whatever you say seem much more important than if you weren't wearing a hat. Thirdly, young men still wear classy fashion hats, so young ladies should, as well [harumph!]. Fourthly, you can wear fashion hats pretty much anywhere [Emily Post says so].

With all of these reasons in mind, I have decided that if/when I go to graduate school, I will expand my accessory collection to include hats...fancy hats. I will wear hats with bows, hats with feathers, hats covered in lace, and hats with ginormous brims. I will wear hats that, today, scream "lady going to hear a Baptist sermon on Sunday," all for the sake of classic femininity and fulfilling my childhood dream.

Who knows? Maybe other ladies will follow suit; after all, with all of the above reasons in mind [especially the visual importance gained from such hats], I cannot imagine ladies not wanting to do so.

I know one thing, though---I absolutely cannot wait to walk into Nordstrom and finally buy a hat.