Thoughts on Rudeness

It's not a slam at you when people are rude, it's a slam at the people they've met before. 

-Tennessee Williams

I have recently relocated to the beautiful capital city of Madison, Wisconsin. It has everything you could possibly want: cheese, fresh produce, beautiful lakes, awesome bike trails, tons of little shops, and microwbrews aplenty [if beer happens to be your "thing"].  Having grown up in family deeply rooted in the Midwest, I had high hopes that the Sconnies [a term I recently picked up on] who I encountered would be relatively polite and friendly, at least generally more polite and pleasant than strangers I met in DC. I was looking forward to being around a more easy-going and generally happier population of people.

Boy, was I surprised when people rudely shouted lewd and unintelligible comments at me from their car windows [this has now happened twice in less than a week].

While one may assume [as I would] that these small-minded-male-fools-behind-wheels are members of Madison's massive [drunken] undergraduate population, one of the two "incidents" involved a middle-age man and both incidents happened at 7:30am. So, what am I to assume about these Sconnie men given the prevalence of these upsetting and rude events? Well, my only guess is that unintelligent, uninformed, and inconsiderate men here tend to be unaware, vocal masochists [I highly doubt they're shouting such comments at men...but who knows...].

Given this speculation, the question becomes: Is it really these guys' faults that they behave as such toward women? The answer: NO. As Tennessee Williams reflects, the rudeness of one person is more of a reflection on the people they've grown up around than it is on the actual person. This is not to say that I completely forgive this behavior [because I don't], but rather that I think one must take such rudeness with a grain of salt.

As long as the shouting is relatively harmless [i.e. nonviolent], it is fair to contribute this behavior to upbringing and poor company. I actually feel bad for these guys that they lack respect for women, people in general, and most importantly themselves [but I don't feel bad enough to not report them the next time it happens...]. In order for this unbecoming behavior to finally halt, societal changes must occur to increase people's respect for one another and minimize objectification. Unfortunately, there seems to be a longer way to go than I might like.

Despite my annoyances with these two drive-by showings of rude misogyny, I have to say that most people I've actually met here have been pleasant and friendly. And people are, in fact, much less stressed out than people in DC [students and workers alike]. It's sad that a few people have been rather disappointing when it comes to manners and respect for women.

The lesson: There are rude and inconsiderate people everywhere, and there are only two options when faced with such incivility: 1) As Williams suggests, if we remain courteous towards all people we encounter, we might hope that eventually mutual respect will reign supreme. 2) Take the "high road" and pray that these fools eventually get a smack across the face and learn to respect humanity [women especially].-------Either option works for me.