Unknowingly Masculinized?

I cannot begin to count how many people, in the first stages of friendship, have told me, "Oh, you remind me so much of my friend, [insert male name here]." For a while, I received this as a compliment, because I took it as recognition that I am socially understood to be assertive, determined, and intelligent...Lately, though, the frequent comparison of my personality to those of men has become somewhat of a philosophical/personal concern of mine.

Specifically, it has led me to ponder what my role is in a field [Political Science] dominated by men. Am I supposed to be extremely feminine [i.e. only wear dresses, giggle at stupid jokes, bat my eyelashes]? Or, am I supposed to masculinize myself [i.e. be super-aggressive in conversation and consciously defy anything that is socially read as feminine] to fit into the world of academia? While I thought the answer would be entirely up to me and my preferences, I began to realize that I may have less say in a matter than I think I do...

As I began to consider successful women I have encountered in academia, I realized that only a few have been notably feminine in appearance and/or demeanor. Many women [un]intentionally break with traditional visions of femininity in order to cement themselves as serious academics [by which, of course, I mean women unconcerned with things like baking, raising a family, or, say, wearing brooches]. Even still, major female scholars are few and far between---Does this mean that women are frightened out of academia because of the threat it poses to their femininity? Does this mean that I am pitting myself into a world where my brooch and coat collections will be forced to evaporate?

I do think that female academics have some choice as to how feminine they are in academia. At the same time, though, I feel like a lady academic's career can be limited by her femininity, both in- and extrinsic to her person, which encourages her to cloak her femininity with masculine tendencies. Being a biological female immediately indicates to a job panel that one can have children and is, therefore, not as serious about completing research. Likewise, a distinctly feminine personality and appearance may be perceived as maternal rather than professorial [to the female candidate's detriment]. Because of these societal perceptions, I argue that many women will actually downplay their intrinsic femininity for the sake of intellectual success; I also lament this observation, for I believe there is something of value in a uniquely feminine approach to the intellectual life.

The question then arises: Am I in a world that is going to mold me [perhaps even without my knowledge] to masculinize myself in the name of success?

The short answer: Yes. 

I have already seen evidence of this among some of my most intellectual female friends. I was at a weekend conference when the gentlemen stepped outside for a cigar, and a few of the young ladies stepped outside to join them and smoke cigars, as well. Why would they do this [most un-feminine activity]? Simply put: It helped them "fit in" and be accepted as something not so dainty or sensitive, neither of which is a quality that yields dominance in academia. Even those these young women were undoubtedly intelligent [and arguably smarter than most of the guys], there was still a feeling of being excluded from academia that required them to socially masculinize to gain acceptance. Subconsciously, they accepted this opportune masculinization as a way to enhance their intellectual lives and social importance.

I've even noticed myself doing the same thing insofar as I have let down my guard on certain etiquette things in academic settings [most notably casual language]. My fear is that I will eventually [or even already have?]  let down my guard even more...

All this being said, I am determined to intelligently combat the drive to masculinize myself.  How will I do this? First, I will not be afraid to have a nurturing/caring presence in academia; I think my inherent femininity can encourage a humility that academia desperately needs. Second, I will not be afraid to use a distinctly feminine guile to my advantage---if anything, it will catch my peers off guard. Third, I will cement my feminine role by refusing to give into masculine behaviors/tendencies. Practically this means that I will work to channel my feminine self in academia [...as well as wear at least three brooches on my cardigans and dish out more Emily Post references than I already do...] for my own and my peer's advantages. Although I'm sure it will be difficult, I am confident that it will have positive consequences for all.

In short, I have decided that I don't like the implication that my intelligence, assertiveness, and love of intellectual challenges makes me "more masculine." I firmly believe that there is, in fact, a distinctly feminine way to be assertive and intellectual, and I plan to hone and cultivate my skills in this area over the next 4 years. My male comrades better brace themselves...