24 April 2009

Would you like some cheese with your whine?

I remember my mom once explaining to me that she had hoped she'd have all boys: 1) because she only had brothers and, therefore, had a better idea of how to raise boys and 2) because she thought girls whined too much [as fate would have it, my mother was blessed with 3 somewhat challenging daughters]. At first, I was slightly offended and said, "O, come on, Mom, I don't whine." My mom just gave me a look, and I soon retracted my claim: "Okay, maybe I do whine sometimes."

It is simply a fact that girls whine and complain [at least I do]. Now, I'm not saying that this is a trait only found among females...guys do their fair share of whining as well. The fact of the matter is, though, complaining is a trait much more associated with girls than guys. Why is this? Well, one argument is that it brings attention, and most girls very much enjoy attention [very true]. Another argument is that girls really are just cranky and unhappy [not so true in my opinion]. And yet another argument is that girls don't understand really how else to get their opinions across in a world that has historically denied women any strong voice with which to take a stance.

I tend to think that the reason is a combination of the first and last ones I mentioned. Undeniably, complaining does bring about attention, but I think that complaining for attention should be characteristically associated with girls in their younger years. Growing up with two sisters, complaining about things was an easy way to get my parents to listen to me amongst the never-ending competition to see who could get the most attention [that is, until my parents caught on to my game]. As girls grow into young ladies, I think this childhood cry for attention at a baser level evolves into a more mature cry for a voice in a society that, to many, may seem very misogynistic. Whining and complaining seemingly becomes the "only" way for women to have their voices heard. And I, personally, feel that this expression of complaining/whining as the only mode for change is actually embraced by some extreme feminists who choose to make claims like, "If you're not angry, you're not paying attention." The reality is, though, that such feminist behavioral beliefs undermine genuine concerns and only help support the stereotype of girls being annoyingly whiny.

If women really want to be heard, they will speak rationally and not uphold stereotypes [such as, "women are whiny bitches"]. Ladies need to take a lesson from our male counterparts and stop complaining about things all the time. If you complain all the time, the world soon becomes a terrible place to be because you only see what's wrong with it. Rather than whine, ladies should take it upon themselves to put all of their whining energy into positive actions to put an end to whatever they're complaining about [this, after all, is far more productive and also helps build character and respect among mankind]. My female companions should also work to find the good in this world.

I admit that I whine...I complain. But I don't think I complain out of disdain for the world around me; I'm more of a 3 year old girl when I complain. I do think, however, that society kind of fosters this general attitude of whining as the only method for women's voices to be heard. That is, I feel like all whining is a result of something bigger than women themselves--it's almost like whining is expected [case in point, what my mother expected of daughters]. So, it's a perpetual cycle of whining...it's "just what girls do." But I argue that it's NOT what girls should do.

Whining is relatively unproductive in addition to being generally unbecoming and unattractive in almost all serious circumstances [minor whining about things like bothersome boys and annoying habits, in my opinion, is okay and part of what makes a girl a girl]. Perhaps expectations need to change so that whining about important issues is unacceptable at all ages of a girl's life, so that she'll be more productive with her quams with the world and actually do stuff about her complaints. One way of doing so would be to create a supportive environment in which girls are empowered from a young age to embrace their femininity completely, to embrace the beauty of the world completely, and to embrace life itself. This way, girls will have a more positive attitude towards life and, at the same time, come to love being a woman at a much younger age. I imagine that a world full of proudly feminine ladies would have much less whining, because if women truly embraced being women they would express opinions in a more honorable way than whining...they would consciously know that they are better than that. Thus, society needs to change perceptions so that whining is no longer an intrinsically feminine characteristic.

In conclusion, whining is unproductive, unbecoming, unattractive, and basically unladylike---so women should avoid whining [I need to start taking my own advice it seems...this'll be a process]. Essentially, ladies need to stop bitching and start doing something more productive.


[But since whining is so deeply ingrained in our interactions, it'll probably take a while for girls to stop being unduly whiny...bummer]

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