Learning to Relax

I've never been good at relaxing. Never. My mom even recalls that I was a terribly serious baby [it's part of who I am]. But, who can blame me for being this way? I mean, growing up, my mother was all about the "being productive" and "getting things done;" sitting around and relaxing usually meant laziness and a lackadaisical attitude [and, I am not a fan of laziness]. Even now, in adulthood, resting bears these same negative connotations [especially for women, who constantly feel a drive to "prove themselves"].

In response to these reflections and realizations, as any decent scholar of Aristotle would do, I have recently embarked on a journey to force myself to

chill the [*insert (dainty) expletive of choice*] out.

What does this entail, you ask? Well, for me, it means setting aside one day a week where I do not allow myself to do any work [homework, school related emails, grocery shopping, or anything of these sorts]. It means setting aside this day for prayer, contemplation, leisurely reading, letter-writing, wine [and bourbon] drinking, and spending time with friends.

While many may think this sounds like an "easy" task, it really is quite difficult. An extraordinary amount of self-control is involved in making this day of respite work. I have to have all my homework done, plan meetings around it, and give up some social outings when work must be completed in order to permit my resting day. But, while these other consequences might seem like major negatives, I am beginning to appreciate the beauty in giving myself this much needed break.

I am enjoying my work more than ever, and I enjoy any "fun" time I do have, because it is completely of my want/will and not out of pure convenience or boredom. I am starting to seriously reflect on my life and better understand where I am and where I need to go. Despite the occasional gut feeling that I should be doing something more clearly "productive," these days of rest have become the highlight of my week, and the peace that comes with them tends to permeate my working days.

In a world where we are all so focused on completing tasks, it's nice to escape from that mindset, even if only for a day. I think if more people took on the challenge of setting aside a day to rest, we would begin to enjoy life much much more. Through such respite, people could grow in ways that over-productivity does not allow, because rest allows reflection. For women, this would mean taking time aside from proving ourselves in order to truly know ourselves. For mothers and fathers, such reflective time would help them be be better and more joyful parents. Everyone would simply appreciate life more.

We need to take breaks so that we can briefly stop proving ourselves and simply let ourselves be and grow. We need to just let ourselves soak in life, free of worries.